no idea!

there is to much going on in my head, there is so much going on in my head i cant make sense of it all! i have no idea what to do with myself, i have no idea where to go and i have no idea what to say and finally i dont how to stop this. people who i used to be so close to now hate me? dont blame them tbf.. there is not much i can do now there is only a few people i have left and there the ones that mean the most! i dont fit in at home it doesnt feel right there.

madness!

a hectic weekend to say the least.. none of it seems clear to me except one thing! meeting you was not only the best thing thats happened to me in recent times but it also brang me back down to earth, it made me realise alot, but most of all the thing i realised most was that not only was this the first time ive met you in person but also how comftable i can be around you.. i know you dont care what you say and are comftable anywhere haha but for me to be that comftable on a first meeting was divine. there was not even an awkwardness between us its like ive known you for many years. it was strange but i loved every minute of it!

now ive got that off my chest its a mega relief.. but im dreading for when you read this! and i know you will read it.

is there anything real out there?

I would never of thought of making a blog, it was not on my to do list.. but last night i started talking to someone, someone who unusually is exactly the same as me in most ways! never before have i come across someone who let alone understands what i think on a day to day basis but also understands it and thinks exactly like me. After reading through this persons blog and talking it occured to me that maybe i should make one and after this person told me i should i decided why not...


there is not much in life that i can call "real" the feelings and emotions anybody comes across may not even be real themselves. think about it everything in life is made up.. these feelings and emotions are the product of a man/women that has nothing better to do before anyone knew any better he made them up he/she spread them round pretending they are real.. and as the human minds know no better they therfore beleive in them, and as the many thousands of years pass these manmade feelings and emotions end up being imprinted onto our brains and every persons beleives in them as they know no better